When Someone Says Something That Sounds Deep, But Is Actually Stupid, That’s A Duchovny
/So many times in life, so many people say something that they think is deep, something that actually sounds deep, sounds smart, but with the slightest of thought, just flat-out isn’t.
Instead, it’s actually quite stupid.
That’s a Duchovny.
On Bill Maher’s HBO show, actor/dumbass-trying-to-sound-smart David Duchovny, said that, “God as we have come to know it, is one half of our brain talking to another half of our brain, and we mistake it for God.”
The crowd gasped in admiration. You could almost hear them say, ‘What a genius, this man of Hollywood is. His knowledge knows no bounds.’
But let’s just think about what he said for a second.
Is that what any of us think God is? One half of our brain talking to the other?
No.
Fuck no.
Does what he said even mean anything? Does it even make sense?!
No.
Fuck no.
God is the Maker of this world. God knows all, sees all, and lords over everything. God is the Almighty Being who grants favors to those of us who dedicate our lives to Him, provided that we never ever masterbate.
One half of our brain talking to the other half is more like our superego telling our id not to have a second piece of chocolate cake. Or to not rape that really hot chick, even though our id would really really like to make steamy hot sex to her.
No person with an ounce of intelligence would mistake that for God.
It’s stupidity at its finest. Masquerading as insight.
I’ve never known what to call such a phenomenon, but we finally have a term for it. A term for all the times some douchebag tries to pass off drivel as divine revelation.
It’s a duchovny.
Here are some more examples to help staple it into your vernacular:
#1) Starting with something from Aesop that is common knowledge.
“Slow and steady wins the race.”
No it doesn’t. What a stupid duchovny. Fast and steady beats the shit out of slow and steady every time.
#2) Here’s one from a famous and ultra-successful US President.
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
Hey FDR, how about all the bullets that the enemy is shooting?! A lotta soldiers died from them bullets, brah. Save your duchovnies for the Nazis.
#3) Your turn. Think about the last time or times you heard someone say something that they thought made them sound like Buddha, but as you were driving home, you were like, “Hold up. That’s asinine.”
That’s a duchovny.
That’s just an instance of someone who is full of shit trying to sound smart. Nice try, Duche!
I’m as smart as I look.
Here’s a couple bonus examples in case nothing came to you off-hand:
“Whatever doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger.”
How about chlamydia? Does that make you stronger?
“You can be anything you want to be.”
Okay, so 3 billion people can all be the president of the US. Fuck off with your duchovnies, buttwipe.