Saying That You Love Your Family Does Not Make You A Hero. Jackass.

I honestly wanted to begin this post with a well thought-out introduction, but all I can say is: What the Fuck?! Why are there so many fucking douchebags out there proclaiming to the world that Family is #1, with the subtext of, I’m a hero for caring about and putting my family first.

Skidmarks, do you have any idea what kind of animals we humans are?

Skidmarks, I’ll tell you. We’re social creatures, and even further, we’re tribal. We don’t survive well without other humans, and we survive even less well without our tribe.

Skidmarks, do you know what tribe we’re born into?

[Silence.]

Ja, maar ik be heel wat gecker op mijn dockter.

Our family. It’s our most basic unit. If we are to survive, and more importantly to our genes, if our progeny is to survive, we must love and cooperate with our family. Cause if we don’t, we’re hyena food.

So proclaiming to the world that your family comes first and that you love your family sooooo much and on and on and yada and yada is not only irritating to listen to, but it’s just plain dumb. You might as well be trumpeting to the heavens that you love oxygen and water and food.

What?! You love oxygen and water and food?! What a fuckin’ hero you are!

Fuck off.

Conclusion/TLDR: Stop acting like you’re a hero for loving/prioritizing your family. It’s written in your genes. Everyone feels that way. Moron!

Hey! I love my family, but I would only have sex with two of these broads and neither of them is behind me!