Negotiations with God
What if after this life, you got to live another one? What if you were able to negotiate the terms of that life with a God? What if that God was a dick?!
Good-natured Rowen finds himself in this exact situation. Face-to-face with the crocodile-headed God, Delemor, Rowen gets to negotiate his next life and live it out with the hope of ascending to the highest heaven, Empyrean.
But will Delemor deem his life worthy of ascent? Will he sentence Rowen to an eternity in Hell? Or will he grant him another chance to live somewhere else in the saga of time to get it right?
Based on actual historical figures and events, as well as actual Gods and supernatural beings, Negotiations with God recounts Rowen’s journey, from leader of the 14th century Children’s Crusade to the most trusted advisor of the last Emperor of Russia, with a little human sacrifice along the way.
An entertaining and savage satire of history, humanity, and the heavens, you will love this ribald and irreverent comedy or go to Hell.
American MaleWhore in Tokyo
Being a male geisha is hard work… but it’s got great benefits.
John Box can’t believe he’s being paid to drink. Fed up with his ho-hum teaching gig, he takes his shallow, fun-loving self to Japan’s red-light district… and lands a job at a host club. Getting paid to drink beer, flirt, and entertain women every night feels an awful lot like his American dream.
As he sinks deeper into the explicit, ribald world, John takes to the streets to find paying customers. His never-ending party inside and outside the club gives him a graduate degree in male-female encounters. A wild life like John’s could never get old, could it? No, seriously… could it?
American MaleWhore in Tokyo is a raunchy comedy suitable for ages 18+. If you like low-brow humor, obnoxious reality shows gone bad, and fun-loving, narcissistic characters, then you’ll love Rowen Boozewell’s rip-roaringly funny tale.
The Stars' Fault
A 10-year old fighting cancer. A space captain fighting for his species. Can they conquer their enemies before it’s too late?
When Fen’s cancer returns, he knows he’ll need all the help in the world to defeat it. Despite the support of his family and friends, things look bleak until he cracks the cover of a sci-fi story about a courageous captain fighting against incredible odds…
Vulp is ruggedly handsome, recklessly confident, and doesn’t give a crap about the odds. With his chances of victory pegged at slim to none, he rushes headlong into danger against his latest intergalactic enemy.
While Fen and Vulp have the worst prospects in the universe, they’re both willing to do whatever it takes to survive. Can the captain and the cancer patient take down their bitter enemies or will they die trying?
The Stars’ Fault is a heartbreaking and humorous fantasy tale. If you like space battles, gut-wrenching emotion, and surprising twists, then you’ll love this madcap novella.
Click here for link to Amazon so you can buy now and begin exploring a universe of adventure today!
Note:The Stars’ Fault is 66 pages.
Memoirs of a Douchebag
Have you ever wanted to throw caution to the wind and live in a foreign land? To journey not only to the other side of the world, but also deep within yourself? Or perhaps you’ve read about such a journey of self-discovery and thought, ‘This is total horsepoop!’
Memoirs of a Douchebag chronicles the adventures of John Box as he spends a year traveling around Japan, teaching English, and discovering himself—nightly.
Through this life-changing journey, John comes to such revelations as: he hates working, and kids, and food that makes liver spots drenched in mucous seem like crème brulee.
Further, through this inter-cultural experience, John learns some important life-lessons like how different Japanese are from Americans…and how similar. Fucking mind-blowing shit. Plus, he’ll feel you up!
UNDIES DESIGN AT DISCRETION OF JOHN BOX. (I.E. EXPECT TIGHTY WHITIES)
John Box' Used Underwear - Was $49.99 Now Just $49.95
From the country that brought you vending machines stocked with used high school girls' panties comes this intoxicating product, the real draw of which is that you get to choose what JB did while wearing them. Including, but not limited to:
- Drinking
- Hand to hand combat (via Nintendo's Kung Fu Master)
- Jogging
- Karaoke (3 hours of all-you-can-drink crooning (okay, shouting))
- Self-gratification
- Tennis
- Working (i.e. sitting in front of a computer for up to 2 hours at a time)
The options are unlimited for this sure-to-be-cherished-for-a-lifetime product.
SHIPPING NOT INCLUDED UNLESS YOU SEND A PHOTO OF YOURSELF IN SOMETHING EQUALLY SEXY.