My Wife Is A Racist

“I didn’t know your sister was back with her ex-husband,” my Japanese wife said to me while scrolling through Instagram.

“Huh?” I replied, dumbfounded. No way was she back with her ex. “What are you talking about?!”

“Look, it’s right here,” she said, showing me her cellphone. “She just posted a picture of her and her ex-husband. They must be back together because they’re all lovie-dovie.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. It was a picture of my sister all right, but the dude she was with was not her ex-husband. “That guy’s not even close,” I replied, disparagingly.

“What are you talking about? He looks exactly like him.”

They were both white guys with hair. That was the extent of their similarities.

So the question is, what to do? Report her to the authorities? Alert Twitter in the hope that someone will cancel her for her rampant racism? Or just laugh at her.

The answer is obvious.

Call her out on social media in the hope that she becomes a pariah.

But seriously, what people forget is that in order to be a racist, there has to be hate and/or intolerance behind one’s comments and/or actions. Simply mistaking a person for another person because they’re both white, or black, or Asian, doesn’t make you racist, it just makes you not particularly perceptive. At least when it comes to differentiating people of a different race than you.

So let’s give that part of the racist talk a rest, please.

Lastly, not to toot my own horn, but the John Boxster can tell Asians apart. Like, show me a picture of Jackie Chan and Mr. Miyagi, and I can confidently tell you that they are two different people. What What! Is there a trophy for being the most racially woke person in the world?! Gimme that shit!

This is not my wife, but some non-Asians may think that she looks exactly like her. That doesn’t make them racist. I totally got your back, Dad.