The Corona Virus will Likely Continue to Get Worse in Japan - A Local Tale in Tokyo

Coronavirus will likely spread in Japan

February 25, 2020
(Updated March 11, 2020)
(Updated again April 1, 2020)

I don’t enjoy bad-mouthing Japan, because I absolutely love it here, but with respect to the corona virus, the Japanese government is speaking out of both sides of its mouth.

In order to prevent the spread of the corona virus, government officials are asking businesses and citizens alike to cancel events where many people would be gathering in a relatively small space. This has been all over the news, and it makes a lot of sense. A densely-packed event is a corona virus wet dream.

My special Japanese ladyfriend teaches hip-hop dance to little kids. It’s adorable. She currently has a reservation at a local government hall in Tokyo for a recital where around 100 kids and parents will be in attendance.

Hearing the news, and looking to do the right thing to prevent the spread of corona, she called up the local government hall and inquired about cancellation. They kindly informed her that she could cancel. They not-so-kindly added that there would be a cancellation fee of 100%.

Okay, Japan, let’s think about this. You want people to cancel events to prevent the spread of the virus, and you want those people to pay for them?! To pay you 100% of the money for literally nothing?! This is a government hall we are talking about, not a for-profit private business. Even they would at least halve the cancellation fee in the midst of a global crisis.

Clearly, this is retarded, and my special ladyfriend was not having it. “Well, I’m not gonna pay the full rental fee and then cancel the event. If we have to pay the full fee, we’re going to have the event. So basically, you’re fine with the virus spreading, right?!”

“It’s up to you.”

Because the national government is telling everyone to cancel events, while at least one Tokyo local government is telling everyone that they’re fucked financially if they cancel their events, I can’t see the corona virus doing anything other than going viral. With Japan’s support. Bad Japan, bad! You’re being ridiculous.

Corona Virus Hip Hop Party in Japan

Oh shit. Here’s an update.

March 11, 2020

My special Japanese ladyfriend received a letter from the city. It said that she could go suck a dick. Well, it didn’t exactly say that, but that is what I recommended because the news was harsh and in times of hardship, women feel better when sucking a dick.

It said that she would not be receiving a refund. That’s right, they mailed her a letter saying that she would not be receiving a refund.

I am sure that many of you are surprised at this.

Of those many, I assume that half of you are idiots who are surprised at anything, and half of you are level-headed folk shocked that Japan is mailing letters to people in 2020.

Well, for the latter, get fucking used to it, cause Japan is not the technologically advanced place that you thought it was. It’s a lame bureuacracy where for some reason we can drink in public and have sex with women for money. Yeah. So … that’s why I’m still here.

Roughly $70 to have sex with a Japanese lady. Or $15 for me to hang out with you whilst talking about how slutty Japanese chicks are. Here’s a snippet. They’re super slutty.

Oh shit! Here’s another update! Now, even more updatier!

April 1, 2020

My special ladyfriend received word that the city will refund her deposit.

Great.

Way to do the right thing, Japan.

Like 4 fucking weeks late.

Honestly, it’s like they’re trying to piss us off.

But … good … in general … right?

Fucking Japan sucks. I’m moving to Hawaii as soon as possible. Assuming that you can drink in public and have sex with people for money without getting arrested.

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