Stop Sending My Baby Presents, Japan!

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Bringing life into the world is wonderful.

There are many reasons for this and chief among them is all the free shit that you get. All the gifts from friends, family, and stalkers.

In Japan, however, they have twisted something beautiful into something grotesque.

Japanese woman nice - for gift post.png

They’ve made it standard practice for anyone who receives a gift to have to give one back in return. This is not for all occasions, like birthdays, I think, but for other big ones such as weddings, childbirths, and graduations.

When you receive a gift here on such occasions, you are forced by custom to return the favor by giving the gift giver a reciprocatory gift that is one-half the value of the original gift.

So while my baby might be happy to receive new clothes and diapers, and while my wife might find the outfits to be adorable, all that I see each time a gift arrives is an invoice for one-half of the value of a product that I didn’t order.

Thanks, but no thanks, Japan. You’ve turned what should be a beautiful display of your feelings for someone into a grotesque practice of carrying out obligations where everyone is now an asshole.

You’re an asshole if you don’t give a newborn baby a gift, but you’re an asshole for giving one because you’re giving the recipient an obligation to give you a gift in return.

You’re an asshole with no common sense if you accept a gift and don’t give one back that’s half the value.

You’re an asshole for giving a reciprocatory gift, because you’re just doing it out of obligation.

And if you write a blogpost complaining about it, you’re the biggest asshole of all.

So once again, thanks but no thanks, Japan. Please stop sending my baby “gifts”.

Hopefully this fat dude in skinny jeans will convince Japan to stop sending me gifts. If they don’t, it’s more fat dudes in skinny jeans, Japan!

Hopefully this fat dude in skinny jeans will convince Japan to stop sending me gifts. If they don’t, it’s more fat dudes in skinny jeans, Japan!

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