Grand Theft Octo by Niels Saunders - PPPP

Jonathan Doe is a conman, and as he himself says, Stealing was always my hobby. Now it’s my profession.

After being fired from his office job for rampant stealing of office supplies, he lands an outrageously lucrative gig house/plant-sitting, and the story begins when he places an ad in the local newspaper for anyone in need of a freelance taxidermist.

He cancels the taxidermy ad, however, once it’s patently obvious that slipshod taxidermy is a huge, stinky pain in the ass, and he pivots to professional octopus teasing, a possibly ingenious concept with unbelievable potential, and the wild ride continues.

Grand Theft Octo is a fast-paced, entertaining story that begins with oddball capers but later mixes in elements of revenge, love, and redemption. Saunders has created a captivating cast of characters including a badass hottie, a seemingly perfect yet psychologically tortured actor, and an eccentric yet cutthroat villain.

It is very well written with an abundance of shrewd lines such as, a lie that’s believed is the truth, which could not be more relevant as one of the biggest conmen of all time currently works out of the Oval Office.

Saunders also has an excellent sense of humor as I found myself chuckling throughout. And since we share an affinity for juvenile wordplay like, He really puts the ass into assistant, I have to say that there is absolutely no poo in this lampoon.

Please note that this book is not really a lampoon of anything per se, but I wracked my brain for a suitable gag and that’s the best I could come up with. Stupid brain.

To sum up, Grand Theft Octo is creative, interesting, and insightful. It’s not gut-splittingly funny, but there are plenty of chuckles to be had, and as Saunders shows great promise, it’s only a matter of time before he unleashes a wickedly funny masterpiece. 4 Pearls.

Bonus quote #1: Kids are simple creatures, ruled by greed and fear and an eternal reluctance to go to the toilet.

Bonus quote #2: The best way to coerce people is through guilt and fear. It’s why religion’s done such smashing business for thousands of years.

Bonus quote #3: Life’s not a performance, it’s a dress rehearsal: people on an unfinished stage who don’t quite know what they’re doing, getting their lines wrong and never fully in character. Everyone’s an amateur, an understudy, we just get better at hiding it.