Cancel Culture Comes to Japan

I’m extremely saddened to report that the flying plastic bag of dogshit that is ‘cancel culture’ has arrived in Japan.

Mr. Yoshiro Mori, an 83-year-old fossil who was the president of the Tokyo Olympics organizing committee, has been forced to resign because he said that women talk too much.

This is such crap.

Ladies, let’s be honest. You talk a lot. Not to mention occasionally nag and whine and bitch. But Mr. Mori didn’t even mention all the nagging and whining and bitching, just the talking a lot part.

You know this. I know this. The whole world knows this. In general, ladies is gonna chat.

It’s in your DNA, and it’s in our children’s song. Like the Wheels on the Bus song.

“The mommies on the bus go yakety-yakety-yak. Yakety-yakety-yak. Yakety-yakety-yak.”

They’re not singing about the daddies or the dudes or the 83-year-old dinosaurs in Japan. They’re singing about the ladies.

It’s not even such a bad thing. Women are just more verbal and loquacious in general.

But even if it’s meant in a derogatory way, it’s true. So just deal with it.

We all have our faults (again, if you even consider this a fault), so just look at yourself in the mirror and either make that change or accept and own it.

NO NEED TO MAKE SOMEONE QUIT HIS OR HER JOB BECAUSE YOU FEEL OFFENDED. JUST CAUSE YOUR FEELINGS GOT KINDA HURT DOESN’T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO TURN SOMEONE’S LIFE UPSIDE DOWN.

I apologize for yelling. But I do not apologize for saying, Fuck Cancel Culture. Fuck Everyone Who Takes Part In It. You’re Canceled. Good Day, Sir!

Hi, I’m Yoshiro Mori, and I think women talk too much. Who the fuck doesn’t? Why do I have to resign for that?! Cancel culture can lick my saggy old salty balls.

I Said Good Day!!!

***

p.s. I couldn’t help but write a little poem about my heroic stand against cancel culture.

First they came for Al Franken, and I did not speak out.

Al Franken jokingly pretending to grope a sleeping lady. Can you believe he wasn’t stoned to death?!

Then they came for Aziz Ansari, and I did not speak out.

Hi. I’m Aziz and I try to go to Bang Town on the first date. I’m probably the only male who does this.

Then they came for Yoshiro Mori, and I’m speaking out. The dude wasn’t even accused of sexual misconduct, just some kinda sorta almost offensive words. I stand in solidarity with my anti-Nazi brothers and sisters in saying: Hells no! Piss off, you cancel culture assholes. You’re nothing but self-righteous buttwipes who need to be centepeded.

Fin.

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