Global Warming; What the Fuck is Up with the 3%?

Every time I hear a debate concerning global warming, I hear that 97% of scientists agree that climate change is real and man-made.

The next question we should all be asking is not, “How do we solve global warming?” The next question we need an answer to is, “What the fuck is wrong with those 3% of scientists who don’t think global warming is real and man-made?”

First of all, who are these fuckers? Where did they study? What are their credentials?

Did they get their degrees from Phoenix University or Greendale Community College or the Vatican? Did they major in something like astrology or tea-leaf reading or atmospheric superstition?

Next, what fucking planet on they living on? Why haven’t they been shunned out of their discipline? What fucking data are they looking at?

I can only assume that they’re drawing their conclusions from such things as a snowy day in Washington DC during the winter or the fact that Al Gore is kind of a weeny or from a series of Donald Trump poop tweets.

Seriously, who the fuck are these 3% of scientists and why am I the only one with my panties in a bundle? Is this a world that we wanna be living in? Where 3 out of every 100 experts are helmet-wearing, mouth-breathing window lickers?! I am very afraid not only for our future, but for our present. God bless us all.

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