Is it Just Me or Are English Manuals from China Getting Really Mean?

I purchased a soap holder off Amazon the other day. It shipped from China and I have to say I was taken aback by the installation instructions. It started off just fine but before long the brash tone had me confused, belittled, and borderline suicidal.

I had no problem at all with the first section which introduced a few parts and instructed me to clean and dry the surface that I would be attaching the soap holder to. Fair enough.

But things started going downhill in the above steps where I was told to attach the suction cup to the wall, making sure to press firmly so that all the air between it and the wall was forced out. It read, “Don’t just push little like slovenly American not caring in doing work. Press firm like real man.”

Feeling confused and belittled, I did my damndest to properly stick the suction cup to the wall and powered on. The abusive instructions only escalated. “Put holder into slot, press firmly, I already told you that, and turn knob clockwise until completely tight. Don’t use girl fingers. Use man fingers. When completely tight, go away 2 hours, then turn again. You thought your fingers not girl fingers but your fingers are girl fingers so rotate knob again. This time be man fingers. If not man fingers, product will fall off and then have to repeat whole process with crying. And probably then fuck up whole process again cause worthless girl fingers. And then repeat. Or just save time and kill self.”

I realize I’m not the most handy guy around. I mean, the only tools I own are those octagon wrench thingies that come with Ikea furinture, but is that really so bad? Do these instruction manuals from China really need to be so mean?

***For notifications of new Great White Host blog posts & pee-your-pants awesome promos, sign up to Box’s Bullet, my monthly e-newsletter, via the sign-up box in the sidebar. It’s probably located below on smartphones.***