A Public Decree; Handheld Devices being Stared at by Pedestrians are Fair Game

June 8th, 2018

From this day forward it is permissible, unassailable, and encouraged to smack, hit, roundhouse kick or otherwise jar a mobile phone, game console, camera or any other hand-held device out of the hand of any dipshit walking while staring at it; provided, however, that any human, animal, robot or other being who walks while staring at a handheld device shall be considered a ‘dipshit’ for the purpose of this decree regardless of IQ and any and all other factors.

This decree supersedes any and all laws regardless of jurisdiction that contradict this decree and/or protect the rights of dipshits and is hereby in effect immediately and irrevocably in perpetuity.

The below iPhone is fair game. Go ahead and smack it out of this dipshit's hand.

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