Self Care by Leigh Stein is a plot-less avalanche of sentences like this:

On my body, I used exfoliating yoga soap, made with shea butter and marine nutrients, with an aquatic bouquet of sea kelp and coconut. On my vulva, I used Drop of Hope from Lush, made with rapeseed oil and tofu.

If that did it for you, than praise the Lord, you’re in for the ride of your life. If it didn’t, then bail on this book, and even this review, right now. Here’s another taste: