The U.S. Constitution by the U.S. Founding Fathers - PPP

In defense of her support of Donald Trump, a white female relative of mine who lives in the great state of Ohio began by saying, “I believe in the Constitution.”

This struck me as something that people say to sound patriotic without really saying anything at all, so I decided to go back and read the document in full to see if it’s really that admirable and inspiring, or whether my relative was simply using that line to defend the indefensible.

The Constitution of the United States establishes the general structure of federal government, i.e. the legislative (Congress), executive (President), and judicial (Supreme Court) branches, and their roles. This includes general overviews of how bills are created and passed into law, how the President is elected, and things like Congress having the power to impose and collect taxes.

There have been 27 amendments to it since it was written in 1787.

In my eyes, this is not a good thing. If I published a book that was so flawed and/or omitted so much crucial information that I had to revise it a whopping 27 times, you would objectively conclude that the original version was crap. Or at the very least, that it was out of touch with modern readers and therefore obsolete/crap.

So while we might dismiss the Constitution as a swing and a miss, because the Founding Fathers were prescient enough to recognize that their first try at laying down the basic principles with which to run the burgeoning union was not infallible, and because they included a clause to allow for amendments, we can include the amendments when judging the Constitution.

The first 10 amendments, known as the Bill of Rights, were critical. Passed in 1789, they included some, but not all, fundamental individual/human rights. Among these were the freedoms of religion, speech, and the press. In my eyes, the latter two freedoms combine to form the keystone of creating and maintaining a true democracy (or democratic republic or whatever the hell we have). So while omitting these and other human rights in the original was not great, we can award some credit for redressing these points two years later.

There are some other positives in this document, which at the time was revolutionary, including that in the preamble they set forth that the goal of the Constitution is to “establish Justice,” “promote the general Welfare,” and to “secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity.” (Hello, climate change. Apparently, we have a mandate from our Founding Fathers to ensure that the world does not go up in flames. Well, at least the U.S. anyway.)

Further, they set in stone at the outset that religion shall not factor into anything government-related at all. Well done.

Unfortunately, there are many many failures. Chief among them being slavery (allowing it) and suffrage (implicitly allowing only white males to vote).

Granted, this document is a product of its time and place, but nonetheless, the fact that it stated that importing slaves was fine until 1808, and that the federal government could wet its beak at $10/slave is pretty egregious.

There is also a ‘Slaves can’t escape to Free States’ clause.

Sure, the 13th Amendment abolished slavery, but that wasn’t until 78 years later, and over 1.5 million lives were lost to get there.

The fact that these clauses are still included in the Constitution makes me wonder why we’ve just tacked amendments onto the Constitution and not revised the whole thing so that ridiculous and shameful clauses like these are no longer included. So that this was the First Edition, and the 21st Century Edition simply says that all citizens of the United States have full and equal rights. Something that reflects our current values and vision that we can respect and believe in wholeheartedly.

Plus, while the 13th Amendment outlaws slavery in general, it includes an exception for people convicted of crimes. So of course racists made up all sorts of bullshit ways to convict black people of crimes so that they could continue to have them work as slaves. How about no slavery period? Incidentally, how about focusing on rehabilitation for all but the most heinous of criminals?

With respect to suffrage, it took until 1919 for the Constitution, which my female relative in Ohio passionately believes in, to allow women the right to vote via the 19th Amendment. That’s poor. And again, it’s embarrassing to have to have that in there.

While not on the level of slavery and suffrage, what came as a kick in the nuts to me was the 18th Amendment in 1917. The one that prohibited the manufacture, sale, and transportation of intoxicating liquors. What the fuck?! I wipe my ass with you, Constitution!

Granted, they again righted a wrong with an amendment, in this case in 1933, but even with take-backsies employed, the fact that somewhere in this Constitution is a clause that prohibits alcohol renders it as defective as an alcohol that doesn’t give you an inflated sense of self-esteem. No, thank you!

Further, I feel compelled to point out something that is not in the Constitution. There is definitely nothing that says that it’s okay to anonymously donate unlimited amounts of money to politicians. There is no ‘Dark money is just peachy’ clause. I’m not sure what Constitution the jackasses on the Supreme Court were looking at when they decided that it’s okay for the 1-percenters to control politicians and policy from the shadows, but it wasn’t this one. I wipe my ass with the Court, too!

Lastly, just to be a dick, I have to call out the Constitution for containing some offensively poor grammar. The following two parts are from back-to-back sentences.

“Every Bill which shall have passed the House of Representatives and the Senate, shall, before it become a Law, be presented to the President of the United States;” … “If he approve he shall sign it,”

Was one of the Founders a first-grader?

Regardless, in conclusion, while I have not read any other Constitutions, and while this one seems for the most part not terrible post-amendments, it doesn’t strike me as anything even close to sacred. It’s clearly not God’s Word, and anyone using it as the foundation for their political beliefs and patriotism has probably never read it front to back, and is probably just using that ‘I believe in the Constitution’ line to defend something indefensible. Like voting for Donald Trump. Twice. I’m sorry, white female relative in Ohio, but you’re support of Trump and your undying love of the current Constitution is stupid.

3 pearls.

Bonus Quote: “The Congress shall assemble at least once in every Year, and such Meeting shall be on the first Monday in December, unless they shall by law appoint a different Day.”

Holy Crap! Just once a year?! What a dream job! The idiots in office now are doing it all wrong.

Bonus Right-to-Bear-Arms Note: The intent of the 2nd Amendment, the one setting forth the right to bear arms, looks to me to be for protecting the State, not for hunting or shooting up schools, or even for protecting one’s family. Basically, if the State doesn’t need protecting, then there’s no right for the people to have guns. But I’d consult an expert before saying that definitively.

Bonus Presidential-Election Note: The process for electing the president is clearly outdated. Rather than each state appointing Electors who elect the President, it’s easy enough today, and more in line with our way of thinking about government, to just give each citizen a vote for President, and the candidate who gets the most votes wins. This clearly needs to be updated.