The Rosie Effect by Graeme Simsion - PPP

As one of the great American giants of philosophy once said: “Fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can’t get fooled again.”

Well dagnabbit, I got fooled again.

Just like I was so excited to read the second Flashman book after relishing the first one, so too was I excited to read this second installation of the Don Tilman series by Graeme Simsion. And just like with Flashman, while the protagonist is fascinating, he’s the same guy that he was in the first book, so there’s not as much shock and delight the second time around.

Just like sex. It’s pretty much the same reason why no one ever has sex a third time. Right? That’s right, right? After the letdown of the second time, everyone’s more or less celibate till death, right? It’s pretty mundane after that first time, right? Hello? …

Anyhoo, Don and Rosie Tillman are now a married couple living in New York City. He’s a 40-year-old professor of genetics and she’s a 30-year-old postgraduate medical student.

When Rosie surprises Don with the news that she’s pregnant, he has a meltdown and hijinx ensue as numerous problems arise that he must solve in order to save his marriage and keep his budding family together. It’s a relatively run-of-the-mill plot, but there’s no shame in that when we’re dealing with rom-coms.

Don is once again the narrator, and once again being in his head is what makes everything interesting. He apparently has a form Asperger’s and excels at logic while lacking in interpersonal skills. His reaction to being compared to Rain Man gives us a good sense of his personality.

Rain Man! I had seen the film. I did not identify in any way with Rain Man, who was inarticulate, dependent and unemployable. A society of Rain Men would be dysfunctional. A society of Don Tillmans would be efficient, safe and pleasant for all of us.

While the plot is fairly commonplace as mentioned, because The Rosie Effect, like its predecessor, is more of a character study, its for the most part irrelevant. And while Don’s personality, story-telling skills, and extremely interesting knowledge nuggets make for compelling reading, the defect of this book is the wanton destruction of Gene, Don’s best friend, and of Rosie.

Gene is described as a “narcissistic, cheating, misogynist, bigoted, unscientific … pig.” While this may make him sound like a real asshole, these were the characteristics that made him interesting and funny in the first book. What we end up with in this book is a boring, neutered, relationship-advice dispenser. A gut-wrenching mistake by Simsion.

And the fall of Rosie is even worse. In The Rosie Experiment, she’s charming, intelligent, and cool, yet in The Rosie Effect, she devolves into a selfish, insufferable asshole. My dislike for her grew to the point where I wasn’t even rooting for a ‘happy ending.’ My happy ending would have involved Don letting the door hit her in the ass on the way out. I apologize for being so graphic, but I couldn’t stand the c-hole that she became. Epic fail, Simsion.

Having said that, there are many big and small LOL’s to be had thanks to Don and his way of looking at and interpreting the world.

To sum up, as long as you enjoyed The Rosie Experiment, and aren’t too disappointed when your favorite misogynist morphs into a handmaiden and your favorite heroine turns into a wet blanket of c-holery, you’ll find this a relatively enjoyable read. And further still, if you’re one of those peculiar individuals who enjoyed sex the second time as much as the first, there’s a good chance you’ll orgasm this time around too. 3 Pearls.

Bonus quote #1 (this one’s educational; hells yeah!): There is a good evolutionary explanation for morning sickness in early pregnancy. In this critical stage of foetal development, with the mother’s immune system depressed, it is essential that she does not ingest any harmful substances. Hence the stomach is more highly tuned to reject unsuitable food.

Bonus quote #2 (this one’s a profound truth that we all already know inherently; hells yeah!): After the most basic physical requirements are satisfied, human happiness is almost independent of wealth. A meaningful job is far more important.

Bonus quote #3 (this one’s funny cause I know that if I don’t include a funny one, one of you fuckers will use telepathy or voodoo or some shit to give me crabs; hells yeah!): It is illegal in New York to enter a designated children’s playground without the company of a child under the age of twelve. Incredible. If I had actually been someone who gained sexual satisfaction from observing children, I would have had to kidnap a child in order to gain entry to the playground.